Dream Scenes
by 3iNSANEMiNDS
Summary: A humourous oneshot about a dream Hermione just can't seem to get out of! Nothing seems to be going right and it's just too wild and crazy to be true... right? Beware of Plot Holes


_**Dream Scenes**_

By: 3insaneminds

a.k.a Jackie, Freddie, and I

**Disclaimer:** Once you read this story, it ought to become very, very clear to you that we did not write the Harry Potter series and that we don't own the characters or anything else… just the crazy plot line. 

**WARNING:** **_Beware of Plot Holes_**

"There's no way I'm going to the Yule Ball with Malfoy, Ginny!" shrieked Hermione Granger one day during a Quidditch Match.

"Aw, come on Hermione. He's not that bad… usually," Ginny said unconvinced.

Hermione glared back, "Usually?" she replied.

"He asked you. It's polite to at least consider him." Ginny replied, annoyed. Hermione blinked several times, then grabbed a large book and whacked Ginny over the head with it…. hard. Ginny fell to the ground unconscious… just as Professor Snape walked in. He annoyingly flicked his wand, and Ginny started to float to the infirmary.

"Stupid kids," muttered Professor Snape. Hermione blinked at him, when he suddenly turned into Malfoy and tried to kiss her; Hermione woke up with a scream.

"What is it?" a male voice asked. Sitting up, Hermione saw that she was sitting on a lawn chair in front of a bonfire in the backyard of the Burrow. Harry, Ron, Ginny and various other Weasleys were staring at Hermione. She looked up at Fred, and blinked. Fred suddenly turned into Malfoy, and tried to kiss her.

Hermione shook her head really hard, hoping against hope that she'd wake up _really_ soon… you know, before she had to kill herself. Or get a very large headache. Whatever came first. But, back to Malfoy. Yeah, he was still grinning down at her like a little puppy waiting for a doggy treat.

Hermione slapped him, then pinched herself, closed her eyes, reopened them and swore loudly when Malfoy was still there, now looking hurt and confused.

"Go away Malfoy." Hermione said, standing back up again.

"Since when have we been on a last name basis? Before or after our one year anniversary?" Malfoy asked her.

"You know, I don't like this dream. I mean, I never really liked it in the first place, but it's getting crappier as it goes along," Hermione remarked to Dream Malfoy. Hermione was expecting him to reply with a 'not a dream' type thing, but instead he told her to get to class. Odd. She shook her head very fast, and started walking but felt a hand on her arm as she looked up, once again to see Malfoy.

"Not going without a kiss are we?" he smirked.

Hermione pulled of her wand, "Of course we are, but not without a hex," Malfoy suddenly sprouted tentacles. As soon as he did, Professor Snape walked in, (Dang that guy had good timing, didn't he?) and, of course, he turned into Harry. Harry tried to kiss her. (What was it with everyone trying to kiss her?)

Hermione kicked him really hard and wondered glumly who'd try to kiss her next. Krum? Hermione shuddered as the Weasley's backyard transformed into a magical forest. Now she was in for it, Hermione thought, thoroughly depressed. She heard a noise behind her and turned to find herself face to face with a very angry Voldemort.

Did you not feel or see my call?" He asked, "We're having a meeting you're missing it. Oh, hey, Harry," said Voldemort, just noticing his ex-arch-nemesis.

"Hey, Voldie! S'up?" Harry asked, turning to Voldemort and giving him a high five.

"Eh, not much," Voldemort shrugged. Hermione started laughing.

"You guys are weird," she said, "But let's get to the meeting. I hope I didn't miss anything important,"

The words slipped out before she knew what she was saying. Then, the scene changed. Monkeys! Bamboo! Jungle! SUPERMAN! Yay! Suddenly, a caveman Ron appeared, pointing and grunting. Hermione groaned.

"I knew Ron would get here somehow," she said.

Harry appeared beside her and said, "I didn't think he was smart enough."

"Shut up," Ron muttered, "I'm getting paid eleven galleons an hour for this,"

"Good for you!" said Bellatrix.

"Thank you," said James.

"Not you," Bellatrix scowled, "Him!" Hermione wondered if she'd remember any of this dream when she woke up. She really hoped not.

Bellatrix was just about to boost Ron's morale when suddenly Grant was so dead! Just then, Timmy's brother Tommy made a cup of hot chocolate. It was very good. Hermione screamed; her head in her hands. Just then, she was transferred to Godric's Hallow. Huh. Weird.

Hermione cautiously walked into a room where she heard a crooning voice. Hermione saw a pretty redhead singing lovingly to her baby. Then, the house exploded.

Somewhere in Texas a woman was having a baby. It hurt. Hermione watched the woman in Texas until she felt like she was going to puke. Then, she turned to see Draco Malfoy. About to kiss her.

"Stop kissing me!" Hermione screamed. Malfoy turned into Harry who asked her to guess which hand the Horcrux was in

"No!" screamed Malfoy-Harry "Kiss me first!"

"No! Guess the Horcrux!"

"Kiss!"

"Horcrux!"

"Kiss!"

"Horcrux!"

"Bugger off!" Hermione shrieked, "I hate this dream. Make me wake up!"

"Wake up San Francisco!" yelled Ron, "It's going to be a wet day today, so don't forget your umbrellas!"

Hermione sat in shock. Ron, a weatherman. Not possible. That was about as possible as Harry being a lion tamer. Suddenly, Hermione noticed Harry was fencing (or whatever) with a lion.

Hermione didn't like her brain anymore. It thought up some freaky stuff. She thought maybe she could think her way home.

"Hermione!" Someone was shaking her.

She opened her eyes to see bright sunlight through the window. Hermione sat up groggily. She looked at the calendar. Seventeen years had gone by!

"I've been sleeping for seventeen years!" Hermione screamed.

"No, we did that to freak you out," grinned Ron sheepishly.

"You're mean," Hermione sighed, "Oh well. At least I'm awake,"

"Yeah. We were getting kind of worried," said Harry.

**THE END**

A/N: Hey, it's I again. This is the second of the one-shots Jackie, Freddie and I wrote on that sleepover. One more to go! Oh, and tell us what you think! You know… if this was funny, stupid, weird, confusing or whatever. Just drop us a review and spill your soul. LoL. Anyway, please review. Thanks!

Love Always,

I


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